Happy Birthday, Ethan!

I can't believe it's been a whole month since I last blogged! When it rains - it pours. And well lately it's just been raining busy! But I have to do a short blog in honor of my baby, Ethan. Well as of yesterday he's not a baby anymore. Five years ago yesterday our youngest was born at Riverview Hospital in Noblesville, Indiana. It was a scheduled C-section so of course I had my hair done and my make-up on and my nails done. (These are luxuries you take when you know when your baby is arriving.) The house was completely ready for the new baby to arrive. The one thing I wasn't totally prepared for is what happened following the C-section. Ethan was born 7 lbs. 12 ozs. and 19 inches long. He cried a hearty cry and had great color. They kept me on the table to finish sewing me up and Jason went with our new baby boy and the nurses to the nursery to clean the baby up and show him off to the family eagerly waiting on the other side of the glass in the nursery waiting room. The rest of it Jason told me about later. My best friend Lynne had been present during the operation, a freak blessing due to the timing of her finishing her clinicals, and she was with Jason as he carried Ethan down the hall. She happened to notice Ethan's color changing. The nurses quickly took him and began giving him oxygen. They discovered that Ethan's lungs weren't fully developed and the more he breathed the weaker his lungs became. He didn't have the lubricant on the inside of the lungs that keep them from sticking together when you breathe. So they rushed him to Riley Children's Hospital and hooked him to several tubes and machines. Jason stayed with him there until they let me leave my hospital a day and a half later. That was the longest and loneliest day and a half I've ever had. Ethan was very touch and go for the first week. When I first saw him I couldn't stop the tears. He had a machine breathing for him that made his chest pump up and down in a very mechanical way. He had patches over his eyes because he couldn't have anything stimulating at all - we couldn't even touch him at first. His body was all puffy and swollen from the morphene they were sedating him with. He didn't look anything like the baby I had just welcomed to the world a day and a half earlier. They told us a few times that he might not make it. A few times it truly looked like they might be right. They also told us that he would likely spend 2 or 3 months in the hospital. But we prayed and believed that he'd be healed and be home by Thanksgiving. God is great!!! The day before Thanksgiving we took him home! He never had to go back again. Just a few follow-up checks and one year later they gave him a clean bill of health!! God is faithful! Thank you Jesus for giving us our wonderful little Jason look-a-like!

Oh, what a man!

Blogs are for bragging, right? It's been a hectic couple of weeks so I've gotten behind on blogging again. But I wanted to jump on and add a "brag" really quick. For those of you who might not know what Jason does - well he's an Economic Development Director. It basically means that he works for our city government and oversees several areas that all lead to bettering the economic future of Kokomo. He certainly doesn't do it all alone! But I think that is part of what's so special about him. He not only compassionately and skillfully leads his own staff but he also works with many other community leaders and organizations. Very often I will meet someone from Kokomo that will say something like, "Oh, I know your husband! He worked with us on (insert community project here)! He had such great ideas! He's really smart! He was so great to work with!" OK so all those quotes has exclamations! Not everyone is as dramatic as me. But in general they all seem to be genuinely impressed by his intelligence and charm. He impresses me! Last week he was interviewed by a local business TV show. He just seemed so natural and humble and charming. Can you tell I'm a little biased? Well I am! I think he's Mr. Wonderful! If you'd like to see how biased I am then you can watch his TV interview. Just go to http://www.insideindianabusiness.com/the_show.asp?ID=368 and click on the top story. You'll learn a little about Kokomo and get to watch the most handsome man on Indiana television!

Misery loves company!

OK, I am such a bad person! I just read my friend, Michelle's, blog. I must say I smiled and smirked to know that she has had a similar week to mine. I know it's mean, but you see, she is just perfect in so many ways...and well knowing she also isn't a morning person gives me slight enjoyment. My husband has also been gone this week. I wrote in my last blog how I was gathering myself up and changing my attitude because I had been quite the baby because he was getting to go to New York and not me. OK - the truth is that this has turned into a week long battle. At times I've swayed from good attitude to bad attitude as fast as within 15 minutes periodically. There you have it. I feel like the Apostle Paul when he says, "the things I want to do I don't do, and the things I don't want to do I do." If you just inserted "feel" in there everytime it says "do" you'd have some insight into my internal battle this week. I'm not as smart as Michelle. I guess I keep thinking that if I don't go to bed then he's not really gone. It's so silly! I know that I'll be the one with the kids the whole next day - and it's not fair to have a sleepy mommy. A sleepy mommy is a grumpy mommy in our house. My boys are so funny. They get up in the middle of the night and they stealthily walk into my room and then just stand at the side of the bed until I wake up. So it's always a startling wake up while I whisper out loudly, "who's there?" I don't know why I ask because it's always one of the boys- but I have to admit it scares me everytime. But I am such a sleepy head that I don't get up and walk them back to their bed. I just pull back the covers and let them in. Grace just sleeps quietly in her own bed. Did I say quietly? Oh I forgot to mention that she often talks loudly or yells out in her sleep. She's such a social child that she must dream of playing with her friends because I'll be sound asleep and then she'll yell out, "I'm next!" Or, "Will!" Sometimes she just laughs really loud. It suddenly wakes me up and I sit straight up in bed and it takes me a minute to figure out what just happened. As loudly as Jason snores you'd think that when he's gone I'd sleep like a baby. But I don't. And just like Michelle I spend most of the morning with the coffee cup pressed against my lips. I even decorated my kitchen in coffee decor. So now I'm sitting here singing, "The best part of waking up...is Foldgers in my cup!"
Please go to the following connection and enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KBhtHbJNF0

Or if you really love mornings like me and Michelle...watch this one!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt8QmhllSuk

I'm so glad that I have a husband who loves the Lord with all his heart! Today is Sunday and this morning I had a bad case of "bad attitude". You see today Jason flies to New York City for a conference. I wanted so bad to go with him! It just didn't work out this time. But like any "child" that doesn't get their way I spent a great deal of the morning feeling sorry for myself. Jason was so patient. He was very loving with me and I could tell he was standing in faith for me. That's one of the beautiful benefits of marriage. When one of you feels weak the other stands strong. He was very strong this morning. Very positive. Very loving. And very patient. I often give my children this great little lecture about how we don't get our way when we throw a fit. I frequently tell them that now that they've thrown a fit I can't give them what they wanted. I tell them that when they don't get their way they have a choice to either feel sorry for themselves and focus on yucky feelings or they can choose to shake it off and count their blessings. Yikes. Today I really needed my own lecture. The Pastor's message today was titled "A Day of Liberation". The text was Luke 13:10-17. He pointed out that the crippled woman was there in the synagogue again - even after 18 years of being bent over and crippled. When Jesus saw her he called her forward and said, "Woman, you have been set free from your infirmity." She could have felt sorry for herself that day and not went to hear the teaching. She could have held bitterness in her heart for the 18 years she spent not healed. She could have chosen to focus on thoughts of doubt and unbelief. What if she had said to herself, "Why should I bother going again. God has forgotten me. God must not really love me or He would have healed me many years ago. I'm just a nobody." Maybe she did have some of those thoughts that morning. Maybe she didn't even notice Jesus noticing her. But in His great love and grace He was attracted to her. He heard her silent cry. He touched her and gave her the desire of her heart. If she had let her actions be driven by doubt and self-pity she never would have seen her dream realized. So today as my heart wants to act like a child and total up all the little tiny things that I didn't get when I wanted - I choose to let my faith mobilize my actions and not my feelings. I choose to stand and proclaim that His Word is true. I have benefits because my life has been redeemed from the pit and I'm crowned with love and compassion. He satisfies my desires with good things - and my youth will be renewed like the eagle's. He has compassion on me, His child. (Psalm 103) He has come to give me a life that is full and abundant! (John 10:10) God is able to make all grace abound to me, so that in all things at all times, having all that I need, I will be able to abound in every good work. And He will make me rich in every way so that I can be generous on every occasion, and it is through this generosity that thanksgiving and praise will be given to God. (2 Cor. 9:8-11) So today I'm shaking it off and counting my blessings! I've got a lot to count. Thank you, Lord, for Jason!

It's in the Motherhood Bylaws!

I find it absolutely ironic and somewhat blonde that I participated in last night's family events considering my good friend's recent blog. You'll have to go see "sofabellie" at the "my friend's blogs" on the right side. Recently Julie blogged about cooking with her two little girls. Well last night all three of my children magically remembered that Grace had gotten an Easy Bake oven for Christmas last year. After she got it for Christmas we had to try it out and I think we made a couple of things during the holiday break. But then I put it up in the pantry so that no one would be tempted to get it out and try to cook on their own. Maybe I'm a terrible mom but I just conveniently forgot that it was up there. Before you judge me remember back to the Easy Bake days of your yesteryear. You have to preheat that little light bulb inside for about 15 minutes before you start. Then it takes about 15 minutes for that little light bulb to cook anything. And do you remember what those little mixes tasted like? Well yesterday all three kids really wanted to get it down and make a Friday night desert. So being that it's in the Motherhood Bylaws that you must oblige children when they want to help in the kitchen because it stimulates their learning and is like quality family time or something - I put a smile on my face and got down the Easy Bake. All three kids lined up beside the counter top on three chairs. There was a little fussing on how close the boys were to Grace since she was going to do the actual baking. And then the boys had to push each other off their chairs at least once or twice before we could actually start cooking. So then with a smile that went from here to Connecticut Grace mixed up the little tiny packet of chocolate brownie mix and smeared it into the little tiny baking pan and then put it in the oven. She let Will set the timer for 12 minutes and then went to mixing the frosting. A little too much water accidentally went into the frosting so it kinda ended up like chocolate water. Then the awaited moment arrived and we took out the teenie weenie brownie only to decide that it was a little too crusty and too small to properly delight our family of five. So I went to the cupboard and pulled out a box of chocolate cake mix and we mixed that up with one less egg and a little more oil (so we didn't have a rising catastrophe in the Easy Bake). We then baked five little cakes one by one in the Easy Bake (although at this point I no longer think that "easy" deserves to be in the name). At 12 minutes per cake plus the couple minutes of "oooooh"ing and "aaaahhh"ing in between - it turned out to be a couple of hours of family fun. My little creative princess decided the cakes would be properly topped with a scoop of ice cream - and well - she was right! I spent two hours patiently and was rewarded with chocolate and ice cream. Friday fun!

If at first you don't succeed!

I know the idea here is that I blog close to everyday. I'm not sure why I keep falling behind. So what's been happening to me this week? Well, Monday I decided if I was going to keep this running consistent I'd have to come up with a new daily time. Through the spring and summer the sun was up till 9 or 10pm. I'd put the kids down and let Jason unwind while I went jogging about 8:30pm. I was doing pretty good and up to about 6.5 miles. OK I know this is hard to believe but in about 3 weeks I've slid way back! I decided that there would be no schedule conflicts or excuses if I changed my run time to 5AM! By no excuses I mean other than the "I'm so tired I can't wake up!" excuse! So did I run Monday at 5AM? Yes. How did it go? Well, 1/3 of the way through I must not have had as much spring in my step as usual because I caught my toe in the sidewalk and went flying through air and landed on my hands and knees. The good news: I yelled shoot on the way down. (Although it was still dark out and nobody was awake yet- so you just have to take my word for it that "shoot" is what I yelled.) The bad news: I won't be wearing short skirts for a while.) So your next question is: How did your run go Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I'm still working on the schedule. Do I still get kudos if I sandwich the week and just run Monday and Friday? For the record I did get up and keep running after I fell. I'm really trying. You know what they say...If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. What can I say - I don't give up.

"Forgive me for I have not blogged."

It's been a crazy week! Tonight I sat down with the computer and realized that it's been a week since I last blogged. I felt like I should be going to computer confession. I must make this short though because the Colts are playing NY Giants. Manning against Manning!! How exciting! But don't think I'm too much of a sports guru - I've enjoyed the Peyton Manning commercials as much as I have the game. Bowl of cereal - about $1. Oversized candle on the coffee table - $6. Fuzzy blanket "borrowed" from mother-in-law 6 months ago - free. Cuddling with my Hunky Husband while watching the Colts - PRICELESS!

Labor Day!

Don't you just hate it when you go to look up a house online - or look up a picture in a yearbook - and it says, "No Photo Available"? Well unfortunately for all time when my kids go to recall Labor Day 2006 that's exactly what they'll find. Here's why: We decided at the last minute to go down to Indy Sunday night and stay at the Holiday Inn where the Caribbean's Cove is located. Since Sunday afternoon I was sitting an open house till 4PM that meant afterwards I was running around my house trying to get everyone packed for the last minute sleepover. I didn't do too bad packing! I managed to pack our entire family of 5 into one single bag for the overnight trip! Not too shabby, eh? OK, so Jason is insisting that I note that HE packed his stuff in the bag and now he's trying to turn it into WE packed all our stuff into 1 bag. Whatever. So anyway we had a wonderful evening jumping on the bed in the hotel. (A tradition we adopted from Aunt Michelle and practice religiously.) We went out to eat at one of the hotel restaurants, which was a little eventful because some of the kitchen staff got into a fight back in the kitchen so we got to listen to it from out in the restaurant. Then we cuddled and watched TV and got ready for bed. It was kinda funny because the hotel messed up our reservation a little. Did you ever watch the Seinfeld episode where he argues with the car rental place and tells them, "So you're good at TAKING the reservation, it's the KEEPING the reservation that you don't do."? Our reservation turned out just like that so we ended up in a room that had one king bed and a "complimentary" roll away bed waiting for us in the room. It's a good thing that the roll away was complimentary because I don't think they could have paid someone to sleep on it. But Jason and I thought - the kids won't care! Kids will sleep on anything. Wrong. Jason went out for a walk while I tried to get the kids to sleep. Let's just say when he came back all the kids were not in the roll away. They were in our bed. Our little princess was the first to point out that it was just too uncomfortable - guess she felt the pea. So we did like any good parents would do. We waited till they were all asleep and then put them in the roll away. But then it's the funniest thing. Next thing I know I'm waking up the next morning and all the kids are back in our bed and lo and behold - what the? - I'm in the roll away by myself! I think I must have decided that it was too crowded during the night and picked lumpiness over toes in my nose. Monday we went for breakfast then headed to the indoor water park. It was awesome! I wish we would have caught on film their simultaneous "WWOOOOWWW" when we walked in. Oh yeah, the lack of pictures. While WE were frantically packing I looked everywhere for the new digital camera that I had just used the other day - but it was nowhere to be found! It was mystifying! So I went to grab the video camera and realized that I had forgot to plug it in so it didn't have enough battery power. So the weekend was left to be captured by the recesses of our minds. Back to the story- the water park was wonderful! It had a big kid's area that was really shallow and filled with water falling, spraying all around, and a big ship sort of thing in the middle with a huge wooden bucket over the whole thing. Water continually poured into the gigantic wooden bucket and when it got so full it would start to ding to let you know it was about to tip. So all the kids would run around to the side where it poured out and then there would be a beautiful sounding gleeful scream as the giant bucket would pour TONS of water over all the children standing below. Then over on the other side there was a lazy river where you could float around through it in inter tubes. And if that wasn't fun enough there were huge tubes above that made the biggest water slides that I've seen. There was one yellow slide that was big enough that you could fit a double inter tube in - that's the one we took Grace and Will down several times. Then there was a green tube and a blue tube that you just sat down and slide down on your own. We decided the kids weren't quite ready for that yet. It's a good thing because Jason decided to try them out. He started with the blue tube. When he got down he came to me and said it was absolutely terrifying! He said the entire slide it was pitch black! You were sliding down at a high rate of speed, being bumped all around, and the whole way you couldn't see a thing. I'm so glad we didn't send Will down that!!! He said the green wasn't quite as bad - but still a little too much for the kids. So the whole day we enjoyed playing and laughing and having the greatest time. Much to the kids' dismay we eventually had to leave. It was the funniest thing. We were home settling down for the night and I was mumbling how disappointed I was that I hadn't found the camera. I was trying to convince everyone that I was absolutely sure that I had laid it on the bar when just by chance I glanced up at the bookshelf. It was on the very top of the bookshelf! I can barely reach the top of the bookshelf! That's when the kids said, "Oh yeah, the babysitter put it there the other night because she caught us playing with it." I had found it one hour after we had returned home. Well there is one picture that will make me think of this weekend. This is the picture I found on the camera when I turned it on.

http://www.caribbeancovewaterpark.com

Family Pictures

We haven't had a family picture taken for a few years! So this was fun. I quickly remembered why we only do professional pictures every year or so. The kids were - well - kids. Grace did pretty good. She likes getting her picture taken. The boys like getting their picture taken too - but for an entirely different reason. They like making a sport out of pretending to make sweet smiles and then as soon as the photographer says "ready, set, - cheese" on cheese the boys quickly change to a face they feel would be particularly comical for family pictures. Yes it was so much fun! We really wanted one of the kids by themselves and one of the guys all together. Those didn't happen. We got this family picture, one of Jay and I, and one really cute one of Grace with me. I'll post those later. For now let's just enjoy the family picture. Aaaahhhhh, don't they just look like such a nice, sane, controlled, peaceful, perfect little family. --Yeah that's why you get family pictures taken!

On a serious note - I really am blessed! I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful family. Yesterday I was showing a home and there was a little plaque on the wall that said, "I could not be more proud and thankful for anything so much as to know that my children love the Lord." I almost started to cry. There reallly is no more satisfying feeling than when one of your children shares from their heart how much they love the Lord! Thank you God!!!!!

School's Cool!

We're back in school and it's so cool!!!

I can't believe the summer's over. Today the kids finished their second week of school. We are so proud of them. Grace is in 2nd grade. Last year she transfered to a new school 3 weeks into the school year because we found out she qualified for the gifted and talented program our public school offers. The whole year Will didn't think it was fair that now she got to ride a bus because her school was farther away. It wasn't my idea for anyone to ride a bus, but since her bus driver was a good friend of ours I relented for her to ride in the mornings. Well we were so excited to find out this summer that Will qualified for gifted and talented program as well! They call it the "Key" program and we just love it! It's also cool 'cause our neighbor is their new principal.

All kids are different and they all have talents in different areas. Grace is an incredible reader and writes like nothing I've ever seen before. Will is totally fascinated by anything science related and does great in math. Both are dramatic! I don't know where they get that from!

Yesterday I had to make a trip to the school so that Ethan and I could deliver their newly caught Praying Mantis to them. Ethan discovered it the day before while the other two were at school and when they got home you would have thought we had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Today we let it go. Will got very upset and insisted we let the poor guy go because after all, "Praying Mantis' are almost extinct! If we don't let him go he'll never grow up and have a family and children!"

They just love school and I'm glad! Maybe tomorrow I'll download their first day of school pics and tell some of their fun stories about their first days of school.

Love them! Love them! Love them!

(p.s. This picture was taken earlier this summer. One day they were all upstairs playing and proudly came down all dressed exactly alike. They were so thrilled with themselves they insisted I take their picture. They picked the place in the garden even. They're kinda shy that way!)

Candi Can!

Candi Can!

Ok, so you may be laughing now! But this is my new slogan. School has begun for the kids and my life is changing. My two oldest are now in school all day. Now during the day it's just me and my 4 year old home -who has insisted he must go to preschool. What a difference! So my house should be immaculate, I should have everything organized, and I should be floating around the house looking and sounding like Martha Stewart - right? Wrong! Through much prayer and a lot of Divine nudging I have made my jump into a full time real estate career. For the past 4 years I've been selling at a model home on the weekends - but now I'm investing my time, my money, a lot of hard work, and my ego into a full blown career.

So now you know the reason for the glammy headshot! For years I've said that I was going to do this and do it right. So I am. Meanwhile, I'm on my knees praying that God will give me wisdom, courage, compassion and unrelenting integrity! I believe I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me! That's why I'm not ashamed to make "Candi can!" my personal slogan. Today this phrase came to my mind and both confirmed and inspired my resolve to go all out and do everything God gives me creativity, wisdom, and strength to do. Hope that it inspires you.

The only obstacle standing between me and success

is the huge chasm between my dreams and my actions!

What next? May 21, 2006

It’s been awhile since I last blogged. I must say that I really do miss having a personal trainer! I’ve been in the gym, but it has been hit and miss. Having the appointment set to meet a trainer 3 times a week pretty much guarantees you’ll be in the gym 3 times a week! But the good news is that I have lost a few more pounds. I’m down a total of 27 pounds now. And I have been running. Last week I went in to the gym twice and ran on my own once. I really am enjoying the running and have determined to make it part of my daily schedule. I think where I’ve been going wrong so far is that I wake up and decide that “sometime today I’m going to run”. But with a husband, 3 kids, ballgames, a house to clean, and all the other miscellaneous things that pop up on any given day – I usually get to about 7:30 pm and realize I better run now or I won’t get it in today! Many times we are gone, or Jason is gone, or by that time I think I’m just too tired and so I don’t get my run in. It’s true that if something really is the priority of your day you better do it first thing. It’s the same with my quiet times with God. Unfortunately many times I do the same thing with alone time with Him that I do with running. So how do I resolve this scheduling dilemma? I make both of them my first on my to-do list. I have got to resolve to get up at what ever hour of the morning that it takes to go for a run and have some alone time with my number one Love! So my goal for this week is to get up each morning – Monday through Saturday- and go for a run and spend a while in the Word afterwards. It’s true that the greatest accomplishments in life didn’t just happen by chance. Someone set a goal and then worked and kept working until they reached that goal. If you aim for nothing you’ll hit it every time! So one goal I had was to increase the distance of my running. I have consistently been running 3 miles almost every other day. I read in an article for beginning runners that the first 3 miles are the hardest and that if you can run 3 you can run 5. So last Thursday I clocked out 4 miles and decided that I would work my way up to 5 miles. I would run 4 first and then after a week increase it to 5. So I was running Thursday evening and I ran the 4 miles I had mapped out and I had only been running 35 minutes. I had told Jason that I’d be back home in 45 minutes to an hour. So since I still had lots of time left I just kept running. I ran till I had been gone 50 – 55 minutes. When I got home I grabbed the van keys and excitedly told Jason that I thought I had just run 5 miles and that I needed to go drive it to check the mileage. Sure enough I had run just barely over 5 miles!!! So now I know I can do it! The key now is to keep doing it and set a new goal. Where do I want to go next? What should my next mileage goal be? Dunno! I’ve got some research to do. What's next? I’ll let you know soon what the next goal is!

5/11/06 On the Road Again!!

OK so I'm not going anywhere. But I am on the road again to this making a change in my life - stuff. The contest ended last week. I lost. But the truth is we all won. (I know it's cheesy, but true.) So I took a few days off. I didn't do anything stupid like eat us out of house and home. I still kept my nutrition sane. I just didn't go into the gym for a few days. And I didn't run. And you guessed it - I missed the running! My running friend, Erin, and I haven't been able to coordinate our running schedule yet - and go figure - I can't seem to get myself up and out the door at 5:30 AM on my own. It's one thing that I really need to change. I do better when I'm up early. I have a better run when I do it early. I feel close to God when I run early. Nothing is more spiritually fulfilling then running as the sun comes up and hearing the birds start to sing and watching the world come alive. It's like your heart and mind joins the rest of creation in praising the Creator! But no birds for me. I've been hitting the snooze! Monday I just plain out took a vacation. I put on decent clothes and spent the day without sweating even once and enjoyed the feeling of looking nice everywhere I went. (Usually I get busy after leaving the gym and find myself running errands still in my workout clothes not getting too close to anyone hoping that no one smells me!) So it was nice having a day where I looked nice all day. Then Tuesday my guilt won out and I went in to the gym. I didn't go nutso or anything. I just did the elliptical for 30 minutes and then ran on the treadmill for about 15 minutes. You know what was sad though? I could have and should have ran longer. But because there was no trainer looking over my shoulder I stopped when I felt like it. I'm telling you - accountability is the key!! But the great thing was that it was wonderful to see everyone at the gym. I really love seeing everyone's faces!! Then I kinda took Wednesday off as well. I got busy cleaning and doing house work. So today I knew I had to get in again!!!! I got busy again with housework and errands and really tried to procrastinate working out away. But it didn't work and I found myself walking through those gym doors about 5:30 this evening. I knew from a friend that there was a Tubo Kick Class at 6:30 but wasn't totally committed to it at first. Instead I got on the treadmill and started running. I bumped up my speed to faster than I have before and determined that I wouldn't stop till I ran 4 miles. OK so I only ran 3. But partly because I decided to go to Turbo Kick. I really enjoyed the class! I kept up a little better than I thought I would. But I quickly discovered that my hop has escaped my hip and is no longer hip-hoppy at all. I got in all the moves but let's just say that I didn't look like the Turbo Jam infomercial. Next time I'll get more jiggy with it! But for now I need to come up with a consistent schedule and start making some goals! I've still got 30 pounds to drop.

The new challenge: Can I reach my final goal? 5-7-07

Today marks the beginning of my new challenge. In many ways this challenge is harder. I tend to have a little bit of a competitive streak in me so I tend to work a little harder when it's a game. But it isn't a game anymore. This is a lifestyle now and I still have to keep going. I've learned so much about being healthier and stronger but I still have so much to learn.

MY FINAL NOTE: My last entry of the contest 5-6-06

We are now at the end of a wonderful journey. Or is this just the beginning? It’s actually quite difficult for me to put into words my ending thoughts…and you know me – I’m seldom at a loss for words. I have to begin by first giving my very deepest thanks to Powerhouse Gym and Chad and Kim Coy! Chad and Kim are two of the most generous people I have ever met. Even though there can only be one winner in this contest Chad and Kim made it possible for all of us feel like winners. Do you realize that the cost of the past 39 training sessions would normally cost about $3000? Yet that’s the gift that the Powerhouse Gym gave to each and everyone of us during this competition. And yet this gift was so much more than just what it’s worth in terms of monetary value. I have tremendously enjoyed these training sessions! I know that statement makes one want to laugh given all my crying, whining, and aching. But the personal training is where I learned. I started the competition wanting to cry before I went to my training session. Then after one or two sessions I cried during my training sessions. Towards the end as I felt myself getting stronger and I found myself accomplishing more than I thought I could I fought back tears of joy as I left. I really am grateful to all the trainers that helped me. Chad, Rob, and Dutch were the three that got stuck with me the most. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. Chad tortured me like he would a little sister. Rob encouraged me and then made my legs ache like I never thought possible. And Dutch chided me and pushed me and always gave me a high five and a “great job” at the end. Even the trainers that I never personally got to train with were very encouraging to me. Shelly helped me with my measurements and always gave me a smile. Tyson encouraged me, then he teased me with false reports of the other competitors progress just to get me going, and then on occasion would stop by and help my trainer make things even tougher for me. And the other contestants became so much more that competitors. They became true friends. I admire Michelle. I’m baffled by Jeff. And I absolutely adore my new friend and true winner – Erin! And most of all I can’t forget my most important partner – my loving husband. Without him and his faithful love and encouragement I wouldn’t have started this let alone make it through to the end. I learned so much at the Powerhouse Gym - this home away from home! I learned that you don’t have to fear the logo with the powerlifter and the drooping weights. Inside I found people just like me. People of all body types and hair and skin color. People that I have grown to love and look forward to seeing. They are all there with a common bond- just trying to carve out a healthier lifestyle. I think I’ve found that life. Here at the end I find myself instinctively eating smaller portions. I can eyeball a plate and just know if it’s over 400 calories. I even think I have more of a desire to eat to live rather than to live to eat. And most of all I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt. I really mean that. In my past I’ve lost weight dozens of times. Sometimes even more weight even faster than I did this time. But for me this time wasn’t just about losing weight. I mean I thought it was at the beginning. But now I realize it was about so much more. The other day Kim called me an athlete and I just wanted to laugh out loud. While I still wouldn’t place that title on myself just the thought that someone like her would lovingly flatter me with those words means that something more than my waistline has changed. Let me tell you what changed on the outside first. My weight went from 179 to 156.2. Thanks to Shelly I know that I lost 20 ½ inches over all. I went from a size 16 jeans to a comfortable 12 and soon to be comfortable 10. And while all of that is exciting – let me tell you the best news. Here’s what you won’t notice when you pass me on the street. I can run. I like to run. And I have an inner strength that pushes me to keep going. I no longer cry when I’m getting dressed up to go out on a special occasion. I’m not hiding anymore when I spot an old friend at the grocery store. When we hang out with friends I enjoy listening to them and find myself pulled in to them instead of weighed down with thoughts of how uncomfortable I am and fighting the desire to run home and hide in my sweatpants. And when I walk into the local coffee shop I notice others instead of hoping none of them notice me. That’s what I wanted from the beginning. To be healthy and strong enough on the inside that I focus on others and not myself. It’s odd isn’t it? That all this work on me has helped me be more loving to others again. And in the end to me that’s what it’s all about. God gave us each other because we help each other grow and change. In the end I’ve become convinced that there are three key ingredients to lifelong change. You have to have the willingness to give up and not do it your way anymore. You have to have the resolve to persevere knowing that good things really don’t happen overnight. And third you have to have the partnership of others who care about you and are faithful to keep you accountable no matter how you think you feel at the moment. We need each other. Those of you who have been so sweet and patient to read these articles and share in my thoughts and encourage me on the street – thank you! You made the journey special. Let’s keep changing and growing together. If you’d like to continue the journey together you can find all my past blogs and all my future ones at kokomocandi.blogspot.com. See you there and at the gym! Sign up at the Powerhouse or gym of your choice tomorrow and let’s continue together!!

Thursday (4/27/06)

Today is a new day and my daughter sweetly reminded me that it was a day that God has made and so we just gotta rejoice and be glad in it! What an angel! I do feel so much better today. Don’t tell anyone but I think that I’ve gotten a little addicted. Tonight I tested out the ankle and went for a three mile run. Yiippppeeeee! I just can’t tell you how elated I felt to be running again! I truly never thought I’d say those words. I hate running! But it felt so good!!!!! Oh my gosh – I think I like running! No I don’t. Yes I do!! I do! I do like running! Can we keep this a secret?

Wednesday (4/26/06)

Everyone has bad days. When you’re a woman sometimes you just can’t explain them. Today I was kinda grumpy, extra tired, and felt slightly emotional. Poor Dutch had to be my trainer today. I gave it my all today – I just didn’t have a lot to give. I really felt like somebody had drained my mojo!! No mojo left!! Must sleep!! Tomorrow will be better!

Tuesday (4/25/06)

Busy day. I went with Grace on a field trip. I don’t know how these teachers do it! I’m not sure what did me in more – 75 first graders running around the Muncie Children’s Museum and trying to help keep track of them – or the hour and a half bus ride there and back. There is a reason why kids ride school buses and not grown ups! A couple of moms that I hadn’t met before asked if I was one of the contestants on the fitness challenge. I said yes and go to talk with them a little about what a great experience this has been. One of them said she thought she recognized me and then said she noticed at lunch that I was eating a protein bar. Whew! Good thing I’ve been honest and diligent on the nutrition stuff. Would’ve been pretty embarrassing if I’d been whoofing down Ding Dongs, huh? After I got home made supper, got baths done and tucked the kids in bed I did 40 minutes on my skier and pushups and abs. Every day counts! The end is getting close.

Monday (4/24/06)

I had a training session with Chad today again. I love Chad! He knew my ankle wasn’t completely back to normal yet so he was very creative with my workout so I wouldn’t strain it more. It’s hard to explain why I can do some stuff with no pain, but anything that would cause my calf to flex or me to go up on my toes would still hurt like heck. Good news is that it got me out of stairs. Bad news is the creative workout – well let’s just say I’m really glad no one got it on video. In order to work my legs without extending my calves he came up with the ingenious idea of dragging out an 80 pound bag with a giant rubber band attached to it and then he put two 20 pound balls on top of it. The assignment was for me to drag this back and forth across the gym using my legs but keeping them straight and keeping my feet flat so I didn’t strain my ankle. He quickly decided that it wasn’t heavy enough so he added a 60 pound ball on top of that! Yes I may be blonde but even I can add that up and know I was dragging around 180 pounds. Let’s just say I didn’t look like Miss America during the evening gown competition. I jokingly discovered that I was pulling around my husband’s body weight. So let’s hope nothing sinister ever happens to him because now there is proof that I could drag – well you get the picture. Chad said it was knowledge that would help Jason “keep his soul straight”. It’s a joke!!!! Honey, I absolutely adore you!!!!! Just for the record Jason Hester is the love of my life and I adore him more than mere words could ever describe. Darling, you are my hero!!!!!

Sunday (4/23/06)

I had the uncanny urge to run tonight! Alas no running yet! Chad was kind enough to do something to my ankle that he said would help it out a lot. It’s hard to explain – but I laid on my stomach and he flexed my foot and then pulled his hand from my heel to my calf in a very strong way that felt like he had just carved out the back of my leg! Why does everything that will make you better have to hurt so dog gone much? Even though this “treatment” hurt he was absolutely right! (As always!) That evening after I iced it again it was feeling like I could walk without a limp again. Again – thanks Chad!!!